As I was reading a Psalm, I just got a picture of the kind of person I want to be. I want to know I am beautiful and valuable...that the world needs me. I want to be someone who is quick to offer a smile or a hug. I want to speak the truth and pray powerfully. I want to be full of joy even when the world is falling apart around me. I want to be full of faith in God.
I'm not there yet. I have very little faith. Lord, please increase my faith this semester. Please answer prayers. Please unite Intervarsity together in Christ that the world may know that Jesus is LORD. Teach us how to pray according to Your Spirit. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I've been thinking about the types of prayers we offer. A lot of mine don't sound very right...just kinda weak and without heart. So I looked to see how Jesus prays in John 17.
Jesus seems to pray a lot about unity. "I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me."
So it would appear that believers need to be unified together in Christ in order for the world to believe that Jesus is from God. That's intense, big-picture stuff. So as I brainstorm what the prayer group should pray about, I think unity is key especially since Jesus prayed about it for us thousands of years ago already.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Eternal Life
I was reading John 17 yesterday and was surprised by verse 3: "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."
I thought eternal life as an unending life overflowing with the the worship of God--life on the New Earth. So to say that eternal life is to know God seemed strange to me.
Then just now I was lying in bed crying and praying, remembering something Anselm of Canterbury prayed:
"You are my God and my Lord, and never have I seen You. You have created me and re-created me and You have given me all the good things I possess, and still I do not know You. In the end, I was made in order to see You, and I have not yet accomplished what I was made for."
Soon I began to pray, admitting that I honestly know very little about God. I know He sent Jesus to die for me. I know that God loves me. I know that I can't predict what God is going to do. I know His voice is gentle and easy to miss. I know He heals people. I know he makes sure that I have underwear. But that's hardly anything.
So I began to ask God, "Lord, I want to know You. I want to know You." That's when I remembered that eternal life is to know God. Conclusion: Eternal life is life to the fullest and life to the fullest is to know God.
Lord, let me know you! I want eternal life to be now, not just after I die. I know I won't be able to know everything, but even tasting a crumb of who You are brings me to my knees in worship.
God, please forgive me for trying to fulfill my desires on my own and selfishly pursue my own pleasure. I know it only leads to emptiness because it's impossible to have life apart from You. Forgive me for forgetting how beautiful You are; for not worshiping you like a should. I want to experience more of You. I want to give You all I have. My life is Yours. Use it how You want to. I am Your servant, Lord. In Jesus name, Amen!
Let all God's children sing: Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! He Reigns!
I thought eternal life as an unending life overflowing with the the worship of God--life on the New Earth. So to say that eternal life is to know God seemed strange to me.
Then just now I was lying in bed crying and praying, remembering something Anselm of Canterbury prayed:
"You are my God and my Lord, and never have I seen You. You have created me and re-created me and You have given me all the good things I possess, and still I do not know You. In the end, I was made in order to see You, and I have not yet accomplished what I was made for."
Soon I began to pray, admitting that I honestly know very little about God. I know He sent Jesus to die for me. I know that God loves me. I know that I can't predict what God is going to do. I know His voice is gentle and easy to miss. I know He heals people. I know he makes sure that I have underwear. But that's hardly anything.
So I began to ask God, "Lord, I want to know You. I want to know You." That's when I remembered that eternal life is to know God. Conclusion: Eternal life is life to the fullest and life to the fullest is to know God.
Lord, let me know you! I want eternal life to be now, not just after I die. I know I won't be able to know everything, but even tasting a crumb of who You are brings me to my knees in worship.
God, please forgive me for trying to fulfill my desires on my own and selfishly pursue my own pleasure. I know it only leads to emptiness because it's impossible to have life apart from You. Forgive me for forgetting how beautiful You are; for not worshiping you like a should. I want to experience more of You. I want to give You all I have. My life is Yours. Use it how You want to. I am Your servant, Lord. In Jesus name, Amen!
Let all God's children sing: Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! He Reigns!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Desire
I am reading a book called Desire by John Eldredge. Here are some excerpts I particularly want to remember:
"One thing I have come to embrace is this: we have to let it go. The more comfortable we are with mystery in our journey, the more rest we will know along the way."
"To wait is to learn the spiritual grace of detachment, the freedom of desire. Not the absence of desire, but desire at rest."
"I will have it in my home--in heaven. Some guy making six figures may be able to have it for a few years, but I'll have it forever."
"I believe we must add two spiritual disciplines to everyday life. The first is worship. We must adore God deliberately, regularly. The other is grief. We must allow a time for sorrow to do our own personal sowing. I see no other way to care for our hearts.
Now making time to grieve might seem strange to you. 'But I don't feel grief or sorrow at all.' Just because we do not feel it doesn't mean it is not there. Our pleasant experience may be the result of the thousand distractions that fill our waking moments."
Short phrases to awaken desire:
"The story continues. This simple statement reminds me that life is unfolding, that we are headed somewhere, that the story is moving towards its happy ending."
"It can't be done. By this I remember that I can't arrange for the life I prize...it frees my heart from the grasping and plotting and fretting over my life..."
"It is coming. ...The very thing that I am aching for now...is exactly what's coming to me...As you raise your glass of wine, toast to the banquet to come; as you see anything beautiful you'd like to have, say to yourself, 'In a little while it shall be mine forever'"
One thing I'd like to say about grief. I don't like it when people put on faces. I'd rather much be in the middle of a grieving fest than sit at a table of insincere smiles. What is so embarrassing about it? Everyone grieves. It frees the heart.
Also, I want to get better at letting go--at being at peace with the questions I have about the future. I want to be alive in the mystery. I want to wake up each morning excited that the story continues.
I also want to limit the noise in my life. Noise depresses me and chokes my desire. I find myself waiting for someone to text me or make a comment on my videos. How pathetic. So I'm removing some of my distractions. I'm cutting out two TV shows, I'm checking Facebook less, and I even turn off my phone sometimes. I'm filling this time with more prayer and creativity. I want to pray more intensely:
"While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could deliver him" (Heb 5:7 NLT)
John Eldredge made the point that few people really pray like that. Now, if I were God, I think I'd want to see passion in the way my people prayed...you know, not just knocking on the door, but POUNDING on the door. I think why Jesus prays harder than us is because he has more passion than we do.
"One thing I have come to embrace is this: we have to let it go. The more comfortable we are with mystery in our journey, the more rest we will know along the way."
"To wait is to learn the spiritual grace of detachment, the freedom of desire. Not the absence of desire, but desire at rest."
"I will have it in my home--in heaven. Some guy making six figures may be able to have it for a few years, but I'll have it forever."
"I believe we must add two spiritual disciplines to everyday life. The first is worship. We must adore God deliberately, regularly. The other is grief. We must allow a time for sorrow to do our own personal sowing. I see no other way to care for our hearts.
Now making time to grieve might seem strange to you. 'But I don't feel grief or sorrow at all.' Just because we do not feel it doesn't mean it is not there. Our pleasant experience may be the result of the thousand distractions that fill our waking moments."
Short phrases to awaken desire:
"The story continues. This simple statement reminds me that life is unfolding, that we are headed somewhere, that the story is moving towards its happy ending."
"It can't be done. By this I remember that I can't arrange for the life I prize...it frees my heart from the grasping and plotting and fretting over my life..."
"It is coming. ...The very thing that I am aching for now...is exactly what's coming to me...As you raise your glass of wine, toast to the banquet to come; as you see anything beautiful you'd like to have, say to yourself, 'In a little while it shall be mine forever'"
One thing I'd like to say about grief. I don't like it when people put on faces. I'd rather much be in the middle of a grieving fest than sit at a table of insincere smiles. What is so embarrassing about it? Everyone grieves. It frees the heart.
Also, I want to get better at letting go--at being at peace with the questions I have about the future. I want to be alive in the mystery. I want to wake up each morning excited that the story continues.
I also want to limit the noise in my life. Noise depresses me and chokes my desire. I find myself waiting for someone to text me or make a comment on my videos. How pathetic. So I'm removing some of my distractions. I'm cutting out two TV shows, I'm checking Facebook less, and I even turn off my phone sometimes. I'm filling this time with more prayer and creativity. I want to pray more intensely:
"While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could deliver him" (Heb 5:7 NLT)
John Eldredge made the point that few people really pray like that. Now, if I were God, I think I'd want to see passion in the way my people prayed...you know, not just knocking on the door, but POUNDING on the door. I think why Jesus prays harder than us is because he has more passion than we do.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The Idea of Vacation
I've never really been on a relaxing vacation...you know, the kind where you just sit there....relaxing.
I always have somewhere I have to be or there are things I have to get for people....like Christmas presents.
Anyway. Well, I suppose even getting a massage is going somewhere and doing something.
Whatever. I don't even care.
What I do care about is Mr. High-five. I got a high-five from him today. I also got a hug from him. And we had dinner with mutual friends. It was a good night. But I just have no idea what he thinks of me. Does he like me? I don't know. A couple weeks ago we basically went on a date, but I have no idea if he thought it was a date or just hanging-out.
It was a freaking date, though. It was. If you looked up "date" in the dictionary, what we did would be in there.
He's so adorable.
I hate how awesome he is. It kills me.
It also kills me that I'll be gone for a month. Away from him. But maybe it will be liberating.....no, definitely not. It will kill me. I'll think about him every single day. I'm so tired of thinking about him. I need a vacation.
But I'm afraid if I go away, he'll forget about me. He'll find another girl or something. And that would devastate me. But I shouldn't be afraid. God's got this. He had this before the beginning of time. I should just go home to my parents and friends and have lot's of fun. I need to let this go.
Here you go, Lord. Every day, help me give this to you. I realize there are far more important circumstances that need working out more than my boy issues. And yet you care about even the smallest conversations and desires. You're amazing.
I always have somewhere I have to be or there are things I have to get for people....like Christmas presents.
Anyway. Well, I suppose even getting a massage is going somewhere and doing something.
Whatever. I don't even care.
What I do care about is Mr. High-five. I got a high-five from him today. I also got a hug from him. And we had dinner with mutual friends. It was a good night. But I just have no idea what he thinks of me. Does he like me? I don't know. A couple weeks ago we basically went on a date, but I have no idea if he thought it was a date or just hanging-out.
It was a freaking date, though. It was. If you looked up "date" in the dictionary, what we did would be in there.
He's so adorable.
I hate how awesome he is. It kills me.
It also kills me that I'll be gone for a month. Away from him. But maybe it will be liberating.....no, definitely not. It will kill me. I'll think about him every single day. I'm so tired of thinking about him. I need a vacation.
But I'm afraid if I go away, he'll forget about me. He'll find another girl or something. And that would devastate me. But I shouldn't be afraid. God's got this. He had this before the beginning of time. I should just go home to my parents and friends and have lot's of fun. I need to let this go.
Here you go, Lord. Every day, help me give this to you. I realize there are far more important circumstances that need working out more than my boy issues. And yet you care about even the smallest conversations and desires. You're amazing.
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