Saturday, February 19, 2011

IV Conference

Honey was encouraging to me today. She told me that my emceeing kept her coming back to IV events because she thought I was hilarious. Even though she didn't know anyone personally, I helped her feel more connected and now she is really involved in IV.

I needed to hear that because so many times I feel like since I haven't interacted one-on-one with people that I don't make a difference in their lives. Now I kind of want to go back to emceeing and I'm scared to do the prayer group. I don't know what I should do. I can't be wishy-washy. I'll just go with my decision to focus on the prayer group and see how God uses me there or if he calls me back to emceeing.

I haven't been hearing God's voice lately about things.

How God has spoken to me:

God doesn't love me depending on what I do. He doesn't bless me because I'm awesome. He blesses me because he loves me and wants me to be a blessing to others. It's a humbling thought. God, I pray that I am someone you can trust with your resources.

I now want to make more of an effort to be prepared for my conversations with non-believers. I want intentional conversations to lead to GIGs. I want to be more intentional with Caitlyn, Ting-ya, Jessica, and Elizabeth.

I have missed a couple of great opportunities to share a bit of Christ with Jessica. God, I am so sorry. I pray for another opportunity to talk to her about You and what you are doing in my life.

God is the King of Kings and I am made in His image, so I need to be a queen of queens. I am a queen. What does that mean? That means I sacrifice my life for my people. I lead them as a servant.

I long to hear the voice of God. Here are my questions for God:

1. Is it a mistake that I'm choosing to drop emceeing?
2. How do You want me to lead this prayer group?
3. Have you been speaking to me?

I need to seek God with my WHOLE heart. Am I divided? I often have judgmental or harsh thoughts about other people.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God. Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God.

Do justice.

What does that look like? God, WHAT IS MY JOB??!! I am yours. I want to be all yours.

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