Desires and Surrender

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” Psalm 37:4-7

“… whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:33

“And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve … But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

Here are my desires: To own a bunch of land where I can have lots of treehouse dwellings connected by suspension bridges (Google Ewoks), cultivate a garden, and care for lots of animals, especially big dogs. And not be alone.

But I can't take any of those things to heaven. Lord, my one desire needs to be to serve you. I am not my own. That makes me sad in a way, but I know that's the Enemy trying to steal, kill, and destroy the perfect plans you have for my life. You have the best in mind and you see everything I don't see.

Lord, I know that you are ready to show me awesome things, but I need to wait on you daily, pray, listen, seek you with all of my heart.

When have I ever saught you with ALL of my heart? The last time I remember seeking you with all my heart was when I studied the book of Mark on a retreat last Spring. I know I can't always be on a retreat.

I'm scared to live for only you. I like being my own lord, but I know that's not the best and probably not even decent. So God, please help me to surrender everything I am to you. eeeevvverrrrryyyy last DROP!