I am one of the luckiest humans on Earth because I was born into a healthy, middle class, Christian family in the United States. Plus, Mavis Beacon taught me how to type. Pretty much the best circumstance I could be in.
My problems are miniscule compared to what the rest of the world endures, but.....
I don't know what I need to do with my human lifetime. My diamond mind is fingering through the cornucopia of life's career gourds and my gorgeous bones are bouncing on the trampoline of whattheheck. This is my early life crisis.
Should i make the video? Should i tell the joke? Should I train the dog? I don't know. But I know I want to live in a treehouse like in Swiss Family Robinson. I met a guy at the airport. I told him about my treehouse idea and he said he'd jump at the opportunity to live in a treehouse. So we're getting married.
Did you know some people have diarrhea instead of throwing up? I think I'm one of those people. One time I had diarrhea at work so I kept going into the bathroom. On my third or fourth trip in there, my boss came out of a stall and affirmed me that she did not stink up the bathroom. * Nervous laugh *
My parents don't want me telling poop jokes anymore because they don't think it's classy. I don't know where along the line they became convinced I was classy, but I'm guessing they didn't buy me the "I Pooped Today" shirt I put on my Christmas Wish List.
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